Have always wondered as a teenage what it’s like to be a white girl with long hair, pointed nose, good clothes, speak through my nose, and looking like a perfect doll. When I see white kids from afar, I will love to touch their hair and sometimes want to touch them to know how their skin feels. ( Always curious as a child even to my present age)
Then I was independent of anything called colour or race. I just wanted to know why they look and sound different from me. Although I had long hair, mine wasn’t as long as theirs but much more full.
Was there anyone to answer this curious mind? Not really.
And then I became a young youth. I came very close to a white man when I went swimming at shell pool. Shell is an oil company in my state and they have like these organise facilities, and things have not seen or been used to.
My parents were not staff of shell and so I had no access to these facilities. Just staffs kids and relatives were allowed but I was granted access by the coach.
I happened to meet the coach one faithful day during my sales as a marketer then. He was in a haste and he said you know what, why not come to my office tomorrow and let’s see if I can get anything from you. I said yes of course. I was very glad and excited because big man + big sales = huge profit.
So the next day I went to the company, dressed as best as I could with all my products in my bag and hands. I told the gateman whom I wanted to see, they gave him a call and he said they should let me in. The gate men gave me a description on how to locate is office and after walking a while, I found it.
In his office, I introduced all the products I had but he was only interested in one and he later purchased it. He then said, let me take you around to see my colleagues if they will like to buy one or two. I said thank you. As we walked passed the large expense of land, that was when I saw the whites in different areas and as we walked, I asked questions. At the end of the day, I told him I will love to learn how to swim. Come during the weekend he said. You can use my pass my children don’t like coming anyway. I was so thrilled. That day was awesome. Got a great deal and am also going to learn how to swim in this cool environment? Oh my God, what a deal.
I could not wait for the weekend to come and finally, it did. I waited until noon to go there. When I arrived, I went straight to the poolside where he said he would be, greeted him and he showed me where to change.
There were not many people at the pool that day and I wonder why? 🤔🤔 being my usual self, I asked him. He said you know some of us don’t really like to exercise. We would prefer to go to a bear parlour than come out here. This is our way – blacks. After the swimming lessons, he took me to the cafeteria to get something. In the cafeteria, I saw lots of white also but this time up close. I would have loved to ask one of them my questions, but there was no opportunity.
Follow me please, am going somewhere. I want you to see things from two perspectives that’s why am going through this tale. I can’t really recall what happened but somehow I could not get through to the coach and so I lost my access to the pool but I know how to swim now anyway. So I opted for another pool.
I do visit the pool every Sunday to relax my nerves after the week hustle. On this faithful day, when I got to the pool, there were lots of people but who cares. Just want to take a bath and leave. When I got in, I was just observing the others when a young gentleman came close and said Hi. I turned and unbelievably it was a white man. In my heart of heart, I said finally I got a shot but my dreams where short-lived because some other black guys in the pool chased him away saying I was their woman.
I was confused. What do they mean am their woman? Before I could say jack, the white man just said am sorry and he left. I confronted the black fellows asking them why they would do such a thing and what do they mean by saying “am their woman” they didn’t give me a reasonable response instead they said I choose a white man over them. They spoilt my day and I left the pool.
You may be wondering why all this story? The essence is this. All this while, I never cared much about his race (white man). I just wanted to be friends with him who is not of the same colour.
Fast forward to my university days. We were taught our history. About slave trade and about how some group of individuals who are white in colour, came to Africa, gave us Christianity and took out idol worship, gave us their language and took ours, gave peanuts to our greedy leaders and took our resources, took our artifact, and above all, they took us to their land without our consent and made us work for them until we die as worthless creatures.
The history class was epic but of course, it made me seek out for more. I watch various movies and documentaries on slave trade and every time I cried my eyes out. Was I lucky not to be born in that era?Maybe.
And then, hatred started growing in me. I was no longer fascinated about them. I do not even want to know anything that is related to them. I became aware of the injustice rained down on the blacks even in my country.
He lives in the neatest of environment. He has all the facilities. He holds the highest positions in the company while we do minimal jobs. He is treated with uttermost respect in every sector and nobody cares if I die. He murders and he is free because he has the money, connections and backings.
Year’s roll by and I still can’t figure while things are that way. Why is he seen as superior? He kills me in my own land and he also kills me in his own land. What a life. Why am I being treated so bad because of my skin colour? I did not choose to be born with it but was given by the creator.
Over the years I see ladies wanting to bleach their skin so they could feel among or be accepted as beautiful damsels. Even when I try to talk them out of it, they just say am not black that’s why I don’t know how it feels. I might not know the magnitude of their pain but I do feel sorry and wish there is more I could offer to ease their pain.
Even when I read books written about an aspect of Africa from a white perspective, it’s always one foul language. First, in terms of their way of life, they see them as primitive. Also, they change our name and gave us theirs. For example, Mosi-oa-Tunya falls in Zimbabwe was changed to Victoria falls by an explorer who came to Zimbabwe. To honour the queen, he changed the name. This is not right in all sense. This is like stealing one’s identity.
As time moves on, and I became much aware of my identity I felt pain and hatred for the white race. I did not stop reading, however. As I read I found out that the whites are the highest donors to poor African countries. Someone ones told me that they do that to make up for what their forefathers have done to the blacks. I don’t really buy the idea.
I read a news about a black man in Europe forcing a white lady to watch a slave trade movie for about seven hours. He wanted her to see and feel the pains of those slaves. That was wrong on his path. Racism is not something that can be forth by one person but by all kind and genuine humans.
I always look forward to this day, that Luther King said
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of character.
I believe all white is not racist and there are good people among them. Some were not born when slave trade was the other of the day, so it will be unfair to judge them based on the sins of their fathers. I feel sad when I read about the rate of blacks dying outside the country but I do hope things get better.
Both blacks and whites are given birth by a woman. Was once a baby that was nursed and cared for, go through life crisis and they both will die and be buried under the ground and not above.
To my white friends out there, I do not hate you nor am I judging you. In every race, there are always good and bad people. I only wish we treat all humans right and help to fight out any injustice that will defy any black man the freedom to live a well-fulfilled life.
In every race, there has always been ways marriage ceremony are celebrated. From Europe, to Asian down to Africa.
In Africa, traditional marriage ceremony differs from one tribe to another. Though there might be few similarities but at the end of the day it is culture or tribe specific.
In Ogume Kwale, when a man sees a lady he loves and wants to settle down with her, he visits the home of the girl three times at different intervals. On the third visit, he will make his intention known to the parents of the maiden. He would be welcomed but told to come back another day, a day agreed by both parties.
The reason why he was told to come on a certain day, is for the parents to discuss with their daughter. They will ask her if she loves the man, what she knows about him, and what is her take on the proposal. If she agrees with the proposer then the man will be fully invited into their home without question.
He will visit the home of the lady for about five to six more times. During this time, the parents study him from their own perspective. Meanwhile, every time he visits, he must bring kola and drinks. When they are convinced he his worthy of their daughter, then they will tell him to go ahead with his plans.
The next step for the man is to inform his parents about his soon to be wife. The parents of the man will then go and visit the ladies family. The visit might be two or three times. This is done for both families to introduce themselves.
On the day of the introduction, the list for the marriage ceremony will be given. It includes clothes for both parents, drinks, spirit, kola etc. This day, pepper soup and goat meat are served and drinks to wash it down. Although it also depends on the financial status of the guy. The gathering is usually done indoors with close relatives of both sides.
After the introduction, the man will visit the ladies family one more time and on this visit, he will inform the family the day in which the proper ceremony will take place.
When the date has been fixed, he goes to see the girls mothers people. The other extended family members from the mothers side like sister, brother, great grand ma if there is any and all others. As usual he must bring money, kola and drinks. Then he goes to see the girls father people also bringing the usual.
All this is done for him to know his soon to be relatives before the big day. It comes with lots of spending, so one must be adequately prepared before one embarks on this road.
Prior to the due date for the marriage, the mother of the girl will request for a visit. This visit is held if the parents of the girl are not okay financially. It is customary for the mother of the girl to present some pots, plate, spoon, wrappers, on the day of the ceremony. Let’s say mostly kitchen utensils. If she does not have money to afford this things, she then seeks help from her soon to be son-in-law to avoid shame. However, if the family is buoyant she can even present a car on that day.
The deal day. The bride price would have already be mentioned on the list so it’s on this day it is paid. The bride price differs from tradition to tradition. For this people, their bride price is based on two things. One
If the man comes from the same village with the lady, his bill is much lesser than an outsider.
Secondly, the educational status of the girl is valued. If she is a graduate or Masters holder, the money is different.
The money ranges from 10,000 upwards. 10,000 is for secondary school holder and the price keeps going higher. So it is not a fixed amount.
When is time to present the bride price, the parents of the man will asked the parents of the girl how much is it. They could say #500,000. The parents of the boy will request for them to reduce it but the other party will refuse. The boy and his parents will now leave the house. When they get to the gate, they will turn back and bid again. The parents of the lady will also refuse their offer. Mind you, both parties already knows how much is required.
This game will go on for three times until the initial amount is agreed. Also, if the initial agreement was #10,000 and the man added #1000. It means the value of his woman is worth a thousand. Their will be shout of joy in the house and singing, dancing, and drinking commence immediately.
After a while, they all join the other friends and family for other entertainment. It is during this period the mother of the girl presents her gift. At the end of the celebration, the lady goes home with her husband and they live happily ever after.🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤭🤭🤭🤭😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍.
Before now, it is said that the lady does not go home with the man on the marriage ceremony day but another day called execution day. This is the day the lady and her peer groups will go to his house and on this day, there is also item 7. However, due to long distance relationships and finance, this part is no longer practice.
Forward now to our present day. Follow up from both relatives have reduced drastically. Also traditional marriage is no longer held in high esteem because some people feel and believe that without the white wedding celebration, the joining is not complete.
Please people help me solve this. Why do we do white wedding in Africa, in the first place? Is it biblical or what? Why do we finish our own grand celebration and still add the white celebration to it? The white wedding is just the White traditional ceremony. What is it that makes us feel as if without the white wedding the union is not complete.
Please Africans go to your root. It is interesting and charming. Do not let our identity become shadows in the eyes of her future generation.
On this note, I say have a nice day and thanks for stopping by.😊😊😊😊😊😊
Recently, I came across a post online about science versus religion.
The author believes religion is not based on any fact but word of mouth passed from one person to another and so it became a way of life. He said there are no bases to whatsoever that are being said. It is just a human narrating a tale from his own perspective.
He believes the ideas of religion are things that are introduced for the formal generation like our forebears and it can not be applied to our present age.
Science, on the other hand, is based on fact, hypothesis, statistics, and it is objective. He believes science can not be formulated and that if one does not agree with others findings, then he or she can go ahead and do his research and counter it. Proving his own theory. In this way, everything is in order even in years to come.
Another reading talked about a lady who was within life and death situation and the only thing she needed was a blood transfusion. However, her religion is against such. When the doctors informed her of her situation in the operation room, she told the doctors to do whatever they have to do but they should not let her parents or husband know what she did. Thanks to Yahweh, she came out successful well and sound.
Now you may ask why am I saying all this? Am here to give my taking on this subject.
One can not give a full definition of religion because it appears to individuals differently but I will attempt my own definition.
Religion is the belief of a thing, solely for the gratification of the unknown and the sense of being worthy of a course.
Another definition says
Religion is the believe in and worship of a super natural controlling power, especially a personal God or gods.
There are diverse religion and religious bodies in the world that one can not begin to count. In Nigeria, we have majorly the Christians, Muslims and the Traditional worshipers.
Let’s take Christians for example, so far, I have been made to understand that, this set is Christ-like but I wonder if that is utterly true because when you see some behaviours being poses by some individuals you will be taken aback. I wonder why it is so. Why is the tide changing, why are there so many atrocities and evil, why are there so many churches and yet no reasonable transformation in the life of some of this sect.
Saint Augustine the father of theological studies in the Christian doom have this to say.
“The church which is visible and societal will be made of wheat and tares that is good and bad“. (Mat 13vs30)
Nigeria is called a religious nation but come on, does that mean we need to have more than ten churches in a street? where is the togetherness or communal practice? Each one interpreting the scriptures the way he understands which breeds more doctrines. The one that always gets me irritated is the same church, with different building, in the same neighbourhood and some of them not even having up to thirty members. What’s the cause of all this? Religion.
Religion says women respect your husband. Summit to him but they hardly talk about the aspect that says husband love your wife as Christ loved the church. Some women go through a lot because of this doctrine of submission only. Much attention is not being paid to the other and all thanks to religions interpreters. Often times I ask myself, the adulterous woman they brought before Jesus to be stoned to death in the bible, where is the man? His he above the law? When cases like this arise in a society, the woman is first to be shamed. The time has not changed either.
I am not saying wives should not respect their husbands but am advocating that as much respect a man is given, the same should be given to the woman. She deserves it as much as anyone. If love is in the heart, then there would be no need for abuse either physically or mentally.
Another, is the quest for a miracle. This has blinded so many that they will go to any lent to do what their overseers tell them to do without reasoning and when you try to question their believes you are seen as the devil. This is not just an African thing but Africans happens to be more on the receiving end. A pastor made a pool and calls it the pool of Bethesda that all your dieses will go away if you take a bath in it with the sum of #50k. Miracles begins to happen and you all shout glory, glory, hallelujah, the lord be praised. Which Lord please?
I saw another video on the net, where the Pope washed the feet of a dead man into a bowl of water claiming the man was a Saint and that is why is foot is not rotten. You could see millions of people fighting to get that water in a bowl. Come on people, is that water more superior? Is it that you can’t asked of the father Yahweh?
Why do these things happen?
It happens because this day we have more of churchgoers than true worshippers. People who forget to study their Bible but listen and obey all their PAPA says. They just follow, no questioning at all and that is while a man will rise up from nowhere and starts performing miracles and multitude will follow. So where is the God or the being we claim to be serving? Pastors are humans and they have weaknesses like everyone else but will they admit they do? Why not teach your followers to depend on Yahweh rather than depend on you.
Am I saying religion has done more evil than good? No.
I believe there is a God and his name is Yahweh Elohim. Not God because God can mean or refer to anyone.
I believe there is a supreme being who rules the world whether it is proven or not.
I believe there is a spiritual world that the eyes cannot see.
I don’t go to church because I don’t believe in their doctrines.
So where do I belong to?
Am not a Christian, nor a Muslim, neither a traditional worshipper.
I am a human who believes all human life is important.
I believe we should help one another.
I believe we can do better as one body than this division.
I believe the tears of others should be turned to joys.
I believe every man has a role to play in shaping the world.
I believe in giving and reaching out.
Religions doctrines or dogmas does not change what I believe in and if by me not going to a structure called Church makes you see me as an hypocrite, then let it be so.
On the basis of science, no doubt, science has made life easier. It has revolved over time and still revolving but it can not take the place of the supernatural even if it can not be explained. Some things are not meant to be explained but felt and expressed in ones own unique way. All creations invented by science still rely on humans to work efficiently. I don’t think scientists has been able to produce another human without the help of a man’s sperm and a woman’s egg. So religion might not be logical, objective and consistent but it does have a vital role to play in our society. So it’s up to everyone to do what is right in the site of Yahweh rather than follow what a man says.
At the end of the day, the decision rest on the individual. He determines its place in society and how he is going to pursue is religion. Now you decide.
Driver……i really don’t know but please exercise patients let me check it out.
Driver…….oh, am sorry people but we’ve got a brake failure. Am so sorry about this. Let me go into the neighbouring village and get a mechanic.
People singing in loud voices accompanied by heavy drum beats.
Driver, what’s going on. Where did you drop us? Where is that noise coming from?.
Driver…… Am not sure am confused as you are…..wait a minute. What’s today’s date?
Today is 11th
Driver…..i think the ikega festival is starting today and if am correct, we can’t get any mechanic now because everyone will be at the market square.
(Panicking) so what do we do now, it’s late already and we are a long way from home.
Driver……please relax and take it easy. We can’t get a mech so I will suggest will head to the village square and watch some show. You never know you might like it. What do you say?
Okay, I guess I could take a look
What’s this ikega festival all about anyway?
This is a festival celebrated by warriors of the land. On this day, you get to see and know the bravest of the bravest on the battlefield. The people involved are the ones that came out victorious. You know a large number of twenty may have gone to war but only the ones that made a significant impact are celebrated and today is that day.
This festival runs for six days and it’s usually performed in June every year. The first day of the festival is called Ike day( meaning market day). On this day, they prepare a local food with palm oil and yam in a large portion and serve to friends and family.
On the next Ike day, they gather in large numbers singing, dancing and demonstrating how they conquered in the battlefield. They all match to the village square with Okuma the masquerade.
Lots of acrobatics are done and diverse acting skills are seen from the warriors. The display how they left the house, and when they got to the battlefield and they defected their opponent. During this short dance drama, some carry props like human bones and skull.
A warrior carrying a human skull signifies that he beheaded someone in battle. He is most distinguished and because of its bravery he alone is worthy of carrying Okuma.
Those in the arm forces will also be part of the participants in the festival. They shot themselves and cut each other with a cutlass but nothing happens to them. At the end of the day, singing and dancing continues and all goes back home.
In recent times, it is said that some of the armies disturb the festival from taking place because of the human parts they carry. This, however, has not stopped the festival from being heard. The armies believe it is a show of violence but this people believe it is a show of strength and bravery.
At the end of the day, I did admire the show of bravery. 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪
She is beautiful; she has love, understands; she respects herself and others; everyone likes, loves and honours her; she is a goddess.
Often times it beats my imagination when I think 🤔 about the being called God. I wish I could get a hold of it’s beginning at a particular place but that will be me looking at one side of the coin because so many races breed many beliefs.
In my quest for seeking out the existence of God, I have come to realize that in a land of diverse race, culture and religion there are bound to be different ideas or beliefs about GOD or gods. Some believe their god is extraordinary while others are barbaric or theirs is more superior and should be given more reverence. I dare say, however, no matter the believes each god has related to several cultures should be honoured.
And so I journeyed far and wide and came about this community called Ogume in Kwale. This community is made up of seven villages and each village have a God they worship. Nice place to start my search right? In Ogume they have…
First I ventured into Ogbe Ogume and I notice all around me gigantic snails. Oh, how I love this animal and so I bent down to help myself with some for some fried stew and rice👅. As I was about to pick it, a voice from behind cried out Drop that thing. At first, I was confused 🤷♀️. Was he talking to me? I continued and the voice came back again this time a bit more aggressive. Can’t you hear me, or are you deaf? I said drop that snail. I quickly dropped it and turn around to see who was talking.
Do you know that is my God?😲 From the way you are dressed, I can tell you are not from here. So what do you want? the man asked. Am sorry I never knew you worshipped it but if you don’t mind me asking why do you worship snail? Does it have any powers? Or something. Please tell me. Okay, follow me he said.
At some point, two or three of the communities practice and worship same gods and this is all due to strong affairs being created through marriage. The union between and ogbe ogume man and an utue woman sees to it that anything the man forbids, the woman also forbids.
Other race or culture may see a snail as a good sea food or a big source of protein, we see it as a source of power. To you it is a must have delicacy and should be savored but to us, it should be worshiped. Is any of these reasons less than the other? I don’t think so.
In this land snails are seen almost everywhere _ at homes, kitchen, farm and on the streets No one is allowed to take them at least not being seen. I saw you, that’s why I stopped you. If you had been caught by and extreme devotee, be sure to receive punishment from the elders.
Also if by chance one of us eats snail without knowing it was part of the ingredients used in preparation of the food, he will start hissing and bringing out spilt like the snail. Oh my God, this is so serious. Yes it is. Just imagine any characteristics you have seen a snail posses will be what the human will posses until he or she is brought to the snail god for cleansing.
You may be thinking what if they don’t see the snail deity? Certain death my friend, that’s why an Ogbe Ogume man run from it like hell
In return for the worship of the snail god, we is worshipers get PROTECTION from gunshot and cutlass.
You know before now, the majority of Africans go to war with cutlasses, arrows and spears. So for one not to die in war from any of this instrument, you are prepared a charm that will stop any of these weapons from entering your body. In the case of the snail god, the snail is the major ingredients used in the preparation of the charm. So as a devotee you must not eat or kill this animal.
Although in recent times rumours have it that people do come around at night to pick it to sell but nothing happens to them even people from the neighboring communities. This can only take place if one is not from ogbe ogume and it’s not also a worshiper of the snail god.
The tortoise is another deity in Ogbe ogume. It is also a taboo to eat this animal. Here it is formally called nnayi meaning my father. Like the snail, the tortoise is always seen moving around in the community and also has a special shrine dedicated to it. The tortoise god also provides protection from cutlass and guns like the snail but the tortoise is the major ingredient for this charm.
In the case of the tortoise god, if we eat it or kill it, it is assumed we have killed our father. A person who faults gets a swollen stomach like a pregnant woman until he or she is brought to the feet of the god, bringing offerings. When the offerings are brought before the god, the chief priest will ask the god if this human has offended him. If he has, he should please accept the offering and free him from the swollen stomach. In a few seconds, the person will start having signs of using the toilet. Right there in front of the gods and man, he will shit and his tummy will start going down a sign that the offering has been accepted.
We also believe that when a tortoise is tide or caged in the market and perchance a person from Ogbe Ogume is passing by, it will make so much noise to gain the attention of the person. When he does, he must endeavour to buy it no matter the cost and let it go. If the owner of the turtle refuses to sell after giving all he has, then as he leaves the market, he should abuse the seller or the owner showing disgust and disdain for the persons action. Awe, 🤦♀️ what a tradition right? (he continued) When he does that, he his free from the curse but if he does otherwise, the reverse is the case.
In Utue Ogume one of the seven villages, it is forbidden for one to eat ram. Like the turtle and snail, it roams around freely however the ram is not use for preparing any charms.
The people of this land worship a goddess who they do not know its existence or how it came into being. According to a native, she appears to whosoever she wants, to warn him or her of innate danger and so she earns the name nne, meaning mother. As a mother hen protects her chick, so also the goddess protects the Uteu people. Persons who have seen her say she is always on white attire and whatever she says comes to pass. Not long after, people started worshipping her and a shrine was built in her honour in the far end of the village.
A certain day, they took their offerings to the shrine-like they always do but when they got there, they saw a white ram out there.
They wonder 🤔 could this be the goddess pet or her, but not to offend her, they agreed never to eat it. So this animal lives as long as they like and when they die, the villagers buried them as they bury humans.
Wow, that’s the end of this episode. Did I find the existence of God, am not sure? So my quest continues. Until then, see you on my next adventure.
Papa………. go down the street and get me some kola’s and tell the lady I said the ones with four mouth.
Esere……….four mouths? what’s so special about it can’t you just eat anyone.
Papa……😀😀😀 just go I will tell you the reason later.
Two hours later in the day
Papa……..gather everyone, let me share somethings with you.
You see the kola nut is a vital ingredient in many African settings. In Kwale and Igbo tradition, it is seen as a blessing _ a person that brings kola brings life. Is uses are numerous but before I share its use, let’s look at the different types of kolas.
There are predominantly two kinds of kola. The red and the yellow and they all have various markings ranging from four, three and two. You see, when you get kola nut, there are distinctive marks you see in the mouth or opening of the kola. This marks helps one to easily share the nut without breaking it. You might be thinking about what happens if it breaks, Nothing, but how one breaks it in some occasions matters a lot.
The nut with four mouths is use majorly for spiritual purposes. They call it native kola. In Kwale it is believed that when a person dies and they pray on the body with this particular type of kola, the person can come back to life. Amazing right.
Papa…….also, when one is disturbed about an issue or incident and goes to see a priest find out the cause of all the happenings, the priest will open the nut with four lines, breaking it into four places and then throw it on the floor. He will read what the kola says concerning ones visit. The kola is the medium in which communication is made from the physical to the spiritual. Mind you, not everyone can read it because this way of reading is passed from generation to generation in a particular family. So basically the four mouth kola nut can only be required for spiritual purposes.
The two and three mouth kola nut is aimed for normal gatherings and functions. For example, if a group of relatives or friends come visiting, you offer a kola nut, a drink of wine or spirit ( that is if you have a drink) and any amount of money. The eldest breaks the nut, prays with it for everyone and then it is shared. This type is also presented in all traditional marriages.
The native white chalk is a traditional element. Wherever you see one, apart from it being sold, it is used for anything traditional.
If one goes to a shrine, there are ninety-nine per cent chance that this chalk is there. It is used as preparation for different kinds of medicine and also to offer prayers to the gods. The priest rubs it on some parts of his body like face, chest, hands etc. It is also obtained for cleansing one from body illnesses both physically and spiritually. A person can use it to lay a cause on another and afterwards place it in a shrine _ which will be very potent by the way, because of the substance. So when you see someone talking to you with the native chalk in his hand, or you find it on your doorpost please be concern and do not hesitate to let me know.
Before western civilization Africans have ways in whichactivities, governance and responsibilities are carried outand up till date some community still practice thesetraditions and rules. In kwale, ogume there are age to age grades which arecelebrated from time to time. The first age grade isbetween the ages of twenty-eight to thirthy and they callthem the OTUNKPA.Continue reading “We know who we are by our Names”
I once met a man who had two wives and several concubines and still when a lady was given to him in the village, he collected her gladly like a trophy. In my deepest thought, I wonder what the use of the latest arrival was. If you’ve never heard or read that in African, daughters are given as gifts, well listen up. The arrangement varies, it might be two old friends who want to strengthen their bonds of friendship and to archive that, one gives away his daughter to the other as a wife even if he has lots of wives already. It is not in the making of the lady to decide if she will marry him or not, the decision has been made and its final. A girl may also be given to a man as a dept paid. If the family of the lady is indebted to this man, they may choose to pay him off by giving away their daughter and other times as a favor for a help rendered. In all, a beautiful maiden is shipped away to another man town, community, clan, and family where she has little or no knowledge about. But the question is why these men accept this form of gifts. Is it because of SEX?
I may be wrong and I stand to be enlightened. What is it about sex that a man cannot seem to be satisfied with one, two, three, four women at his disposal but still needs a fifth and a sixth and seventh and only heavens knows when the list will end?As a young girl, I wondered why a man will acquire so many women and am still wondering, so please help me find an answer. Let’s assume the first was not good on bed – what about the second, still terrible or the third, that you have to keep taking in more women.One woman is a lot to deal with already and then when something goes wrong you come up to say, Oh she is a shameless woman, she is selfish- she wants the man to herself (is it wrong for her to want the man to herself?) she is jealous and envious and a whole lot of crab. Do you ever stop to consider how these women feel, how much pain you have brought on them, or how terrible and horrifying it has been living in your home with insecurities year after year? I don’t think you do in as much you are satisfied with whatever you are looking for.
Sometimes I think religion has a role to play in this.The lady caught in the act of adultery in the bible is one story that makes me ponder the stands of religion. Two people were caught in an act: one was brought out to be stoned to death…please where is or was the man? or did she commit the act herself? Again women are at the loosing and bitter end. Oh my God, that lady was raped! What was she doing out at that time of the day, why did she go and visit him, why was she putting on such cloths? That is the statement some people make when they hear such news. Even if the odds where wrong is that a moral justification for her to be treated as such?Who got stoned first, the woman yet again. The traditional African religion makes matters worst because every man is a product of his religion. Women are always at the receiving end when matters arising to sexual desires are concern. A woman is not allowed to feel any sexual entitlement, anything she receives from her man or should i say the man because i can’t tell who he belongs to; let her accept with pride and honor but the man is allowed to go on having fun with as many women as he desires, Who can question him or cast a stone at him? Nobody – because his actions are justified up to this present age.
There are lots of discussion, gatherings, and bodies addressing this issue as to the place of a woman in a society. That women should be given equal opportunities as the men, but some minds still believe a woman is a second class citizen and so should be treated as such. All she has to dream about is to satisfy her man in every way possible. I am not saying it is wrong for a woman to look after her man in all ways, sexually, socially, spiritually and other wise. What I am agitating for is for men to stop treating women like a commodity they acquired. Give them the respect, love and trust they deserve. If you don’t like it when she calls you a foolish man, then don’t call her a foolish woman. If you don’t want her to raise her voice, then don’t raise yours. She is as much a human like you. So she deserves respect too. When you keep pouring hate into someone, that’s all you are ever going to get but if you put love, then love it shall be. No woman wants to be stoned anymore.
So please tell us what can be done to satisfy you, so you won’t have sex on the street even if it’s offered to you on a platter of gold. You can say no to these offers and let whoever cares to listen that you have a beautiful, gorgeous and outstanding personality by your side already. Also enlighten the people involve; show them the way to value a daughter and she will become a bride and a pride to look upon.